Confession: I have stage fright. Now that's not to say that I have a fear of performing in front of people. That I can do. I mean I actually have a fear of stages... the physical objects. You see, it stems from a childhood incident where I was playing a reindeer in a Christmas play. An attention grabbing snowman (who was nowhere near the actress she thought she was) bumped me right off the stage. Preserved on a number of now obsolete camcorders is the sight of the soft, floppy antlers I was wearing cushioning my head on impact (thankfully I wasn't the angel- that halo would be next to useless as a crash helmet). And so I've spent years shunning any sort of raised platforms in order to avoid a repeat of that indignity.But every once and a while I have to get on one again. It is easier for me to deal with the panic from the back of the stage than it is from the front, edgy part where gravity exerts its force the strongest. And it can't be during December because if I hear any sort of Christmas music, I'll freak out. But it is possible.
Is this a debilitating phobia? No, of course not. But I find that trying to overcome the small phobias first can prepare you to tackle the big ones like spiders and clowns and commitment. I take that back, I don't think I'll ever get over my coulrophobia... that one is just too traumatic.
posted by jw
