Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Thanks for Showing Up Summer. Maybe You Could Chill Out a Bit?

Yesterday, Summer burst through the fog and cold like a seasonal Kool-Aid Man bent on sunshine-y domination. And much like the Kool-Aid Man, some people appreciate his sort of all or nothing appearances (children, sugar magnates, contractors), and some people don't (people who own walls). I am one of the metaphoric wall owners. My "wall" is my wardrobe- an impenetrable tangle of heavy black fabrics, scarves, and knit caps. Which also happens to be what I was wearing yesterday when Summer finally decided to show up. Needless to say, I was inappropriately attired.

General etiquette states that when you are late to an appointment, you should be as unobtrusive as possible. We've all done it before. You're running behind to a meeting so you quietly sneak through the door, give the apology-face to anyone you step past, and maybe even whisper "I'm sorry" every few feet until you get to your chair. Not Summer. After showing up two months late, Summer kicks open the door, knocks both Spring and Winter out of their chairs, jumps up on the table, and yells out, "What's up, jerks? You miss me?"He then proceeds to blow hot air into people's faces for the duration of the meeting making everyone intensely uncomfortable.

As I was putting on my shirt, long sleeve shirt, hoodie, coat, two pairs of socks, gloves and hat last week, I thought I'd missed an important news story. One which explained that somewhere in June, the world went topsy-turvy landing us in the southern hemisphere where summer is winter and drain water circles clockwise. To my mind, it was obvious that we had gone antipodal. And then the sun came out and I almost died of dehydration. So it would appear that I was wrong about that theory.

So as much as I don't mind not wearing 18 layers of clothes to leave the house, maybe next time Summer could come in a little less like a lion and more like a lamb, huh? Or at least a really big house cat?
posted by jw